Working-class Lagosians reflect on women dating younger men

A respondent said the absence of a mother figure should not trigger a young man to have sexual relationships with an older woman.

A photo of Lagosians used to illustrate the story

Often the popular saying, “age is just a number”, pops up when an older person is romantically involved with a younger person.

From time immemorial, men were the usual suspect in cradle snatching, but in recent times, women are gradually closing ranks with men, probably because women are more financially independent.

Some respondents in separate interviews in Lagos on Sunday expressed divergent views on the idea of women dating and marrying younger men.

A baker, Anita Ebere, there was nothing wrong in a woman dating or marrying a younger man,  as long as there was mutual respect.

“There is nothing wrong in dating a man younger if you are in love. I love my boyfriend, who is four years younger than me, and we are getting married soon. 

“As long as there’s mutual respect, I believe it’s no big deal. As a man, he is the head of our home, that’s not negotiable, as long as third parties are not privy to the information,” Ms Ebere said.

Adeola Kolade, a fashion designer, said younger men had more energy and life span to satisfy older women sexually. 

“Women are harder to satisfy sexually, some women with strong sexual appetites prefer younger men because they have the stamina to satisfy their sexual desires,” Ms Kolade said.

Priscilla Badmus, a fashion stylist and entrepreneur, said, “love is not predictable, and women have their preferences.”

“I prefer to date and marry an older man than someone younger than me. I don’t have any reason. It’s just my taste; women who date younger men spend more in relationships, especially in Nigeria,” she said

Stephen Odeyemi, a  banker, said dating a younger person irrespective of gender is a personal thing as long as the relationship is mutually beneficial.

“As I said, it depends on the two parties. For me, dating can work but marrying someone older than me, there are many risks involved like authority and money issues.”

“A younger person will not feel intimidated by your authority; an older woman, because of experience, might want to drag leadership. It may not end up well,” he said. 

Hassan Baker, a businessman, said that older women tend to be more understanding and patient in relationships.

“Younger ladies only seek sex, money and material things from men. But an older woman will plan along with you with maturity.

“I didn’t love my wife initially, but I grew to love her because she was patient with me and because of family pressure, I had to. They didn’t even know she was older. She had this sense of comportment,” he said.

John Ademuyiwa, a civil servant, said that the country’s economic situation had made it difficult to understand some current trends.

“The economy is doing a lot of things. It makes it easier for a young man who is supposed to meet a young girl to prefer an older woman.

“Older women will be like, have you eaten today?  Let me send some money to your account, she gives you relief, and when the elderly woman is going to help you, the young one will be taking from him,” he said.

Mr Ademuyiwa, however, said that it was easy for a young lady to entirely fall in love with an older man than for a boy to be in love with an older woman indeed.

On the possible effect of dysfunctional mummy issues, Mr Ademuyiwa said that the absence of a mother figure should not trigger a young man to have sexual relationships with an older woman.

(NAN)